This weekend I had a roast dinner smothered in oil and I broke a 3.5mm HSS drill bit. It all started innocently enough on Saturday morning. I had been hearing this infernal advert on the radio all week for 15% off all purchases over 50 of your English sterling AT B&Q. I figured I may as well go and procure a folding shower screen with a silver chrome finish. So, Tash & I arose early on Saturday morning and set off to the land of B&Q Crawley. We made good time but it was raining and my jogging bottoms got a bit wet around the trouser leg foot holes.
We entered B&Q and went upstairs to the shower screen section; we found one that fitted the bill for £80, which was £69 with the 15% discount, super saving. I knew I may need to purchase some extra tools to facilitate the installation but decided that I would get the cuss home first, open her up and then survey the situation. Take it from there, you know.
Next up Tash wanted to go to Tesco. I hadn't had any breakfast so I had a Tesco finest range chocolate croissant which I ate whilst Tash perused the veg. After that I was a bit thirsty so I took a chocolate milkshake from the milk section and slurped it up a treat, the empty container was deposited in the freezer section with the lollies.
The final visit of the shopping trip was to Lidl in Horley. I haven't been to this shop before and found its wears to be rather versatile, off the cuff & downright diverse. They sold your usual groceries along with electric guitars, exercise equipment, car accessories such as hubcaps and winter hats. From Lidl I purchased a box of 24 330ml cans of German pilsner and a bottle of Ouzo. It was an interesting experience and the buy of the visit was Tash's batch of 1 litre cartons of semi skimmer UHT milk at 41 pence a pop.
It was just before midday when we arrived back at Shire Place and we did the obligatory unpack and put away of our newly procured goods. I opened up the shower screen and discovered I would need some extra tools, knew it. So I went back out to Homebase to get a stanley knife, vertical level, 3.5mm HSS drill bit, a 6mm drill bit for tiles and a tube of silicone sealant. I made good time and was back in time to watch the football. It was after watching the football that the installation process began in earnest.
It all went well to begin with, I drilled into the tiles without cracking them and then managed to squish in the wall plugs, again negating the cracking of tile. I was pleased with my efforts. The problem came when I had to drill three holes into the metal of the actual shower screen. The drill bit bent slightly upon impact with the metal and broke off after perseverance. This maddened me, the drill bit had cost £2.39 and had just broken when used for the purpose which it was intended.
I hopped into the motor and went down to the local hardware store. All the drill bits in the store were hidden behind a selection of metal bins and a rack of gloves, I had to move them to get a good look at the drill bits. First annoyance. I found the bit I needed and went to the till, it was £1.60 and I only had my card, oh dear you have to spend over a fiver to use your card. Second annoyance. So I hopped back into the conveyance and went down the road to the BP where they have a cash point. I parked up and got myself a tenner, when I got back to my car some tosser had parked right behind me and boxed me in, I was blocked in. Third annoyance. I waited for the numpty and gave the nerd a good eyeballing as he got in his car, what a bastard. When I got back to the local hardware store it was shut. Forth & final annoyance. I had no choice but to return to Homebase and buy another drill bit from there, cuss city.
I was very careful with the drilling the next time around. I couldn't believe how long it took to drill through the metal. About two minutes worth of concerted pressure on full power to get trough a couple of millimeters worth of metal. The whole time wrought with worry about the drill bit breaking, this was not as enjoyable as drilling into tile. The tile drill bit, incidentally cost £7.50- bloody ridiculous.
By 6.20pm the shower screen was up and working, fully silicone sealed and everything.
Yesterday I had a roast beef dinner. Unfortunately the beef was ready before my Yorkshire pudding and roast potatoes were suitably cooked. Tash therefore ate hers before me as she doesn't have roasted sputniks or Yorkshire and didn't want her meat to get cold. When mine was ready Tash had eaten hers and she came into the kitchen as I was loading my plate with sputniks. She wanted to put the oil from the potatoes, of which there was quite a lot, into the gravy. I said no but she poured it in anyway. Just stir it in it'll be fine, that was her view. I however could see all the oil sitting on top of the gravy. I simply stirred and then poured the gravy & oil contaminant onto my meal.
The whole lot, meat, potatoes and meat was swimming in oil. It was really horrible. Tash continued to insist that this is what gravy is, it's what you do with gravy. So, I picked a piece of meat out of the oil and told her to eat it. She took it onto her plate and scraped the oil off it- point proven. I ate the meal and felt horrible afterwards, I could just taste all the oil in my stomach. Then I was forced to abandon watching the football as Tash was absolutely insistent on watching the drivel that is the Coronation Street omnibus. I went upstairs and watched The Wire and did a bit of exercise biking to try and burn off some of that grim oil. Then it was Sharpe and bed. That was it for me.
